Lost
by CA Alcantar
Summary: Jason has decided to give up on life. He attempts to kill himself and succeeds but not even Jason can stay dead. But unlike last time he has no memories of his past. No longer a one-shot. Most likely if continued will be Jay/Dick slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Lost**

**Chapter 1**

**A/N So this story might be a one shot might not but basically it's about Jason Todd giving up on life. If I do decide to continue it, then the most likely thing is that it's going to be a Jay/Dick slash but it might not. So stick around if you want but if it's not in your interest than don't read. Oh and if you happen to be reading my other story than don't worry I'm still continuing those too. **

Jason's POV

I feel cold. I haven't felt this cold since that night. The night I died, the night I lost everything. I can still remember it perfectly, almost like as if it were just yesterday but it wasn't. It happened five years ago but the memory is still clear in my head. It haunts me and no matter how hard I try I always wake up screaming in a cold sweat. I would never admit it but I'm scared. I want my old life back but that's impossible. I've done so much harm; they would never take me back. Already, the old man has replaced me with another. Tim Drake, I think is his name. It doesn't matter; really, to me he'll always be a fucking replacement. I remember trying to kill him once. I don't regret it but even if I did, I know they would never forgive me anyways.

That might be a lie. Maybe they would. No, now I'm just getting my hopes up. They won't forgive me. They don't love me. I've broken all the rules. I shouldn't even be doing this last act of attention but I am and it's selfish, I know but really can you blame me? They left me to die once, why not again. Except this time it'll be on my own terms. There won't be a bloody crowbar involve. No, it'll be cleaner as clean as it can get with a bullet. Guns, huh? They make everything easier.

I can feel the tears building behind my helmet under my mask but no I can't set them free, not yet. I don't even remember the last time I cried. It was so long ago. I think that it was when I found out that Bruce valued the Joker's life more than mine. He let that crazy bastard live and God how it hurts to know. To know that Joker took me away from him and what did he do? Nothing! It makes my teeth clench and throat tighten with the disappointment. I feel my heart stop for a second before it begins its rapid movement all over again. The blood mixed with the adrenaline is rushing through my body. I'm beginning to have second thoughts but I know I have to carry this out. I've already started and now there's no turning back. Not like I have much of a choice anyways, they'll be here any minute. They won't let one of their own die, at least not one who hasn't crossed the line yet.

I hear a groan and know that my guest has awakened. I turn my head to look at him, Red Robin, tied and gagged on the floor next to me. He has fear and anger written all over his face. He's trying his best to hide it but after the last time we fought, he knows the odds aren't in his favor. I almost feel bad for him and in fact I would if he weren't my replacement. This really isn't his fault. He too is a victim of the circumstances. He was never supposed to be Robin but Bruce had to come into his life. I wouldn't be surprised if he got him killed too.

I almost regret kidnapping him on his patrol but there was no other way to get the other two bats' attention. They're probably even bringing the demon spawn with them. He'd never miss out on a fight. Little brat, too bad he's going to be disappointed; there will be no fight tonight. Not this time, not any more. It all ends here. I'm the only loose end in this fucked up family and that has to be taken care of.

Tim squirms next to me; I can't help but feel the urge to spit in his direction. I don't but the feeling is still there. Really I don't know why he took my place. He's clearly the weakest of us all, even weaker than the ten year old demon spawn. It's disgraceful but I'm not one to talk. I'm the biggest failure of the family. From this alley, I can already feel the vibrations of the batmobile. It's coming. It's getting closer but not quite here yet. Under my leather gloves, my palms are sweaty. Preparing myself, I grab hold of my pistol. It's completely loaded just in case they try to stop me. A breeze blows and I can feel its midnight freshness through my helmet. The dark surrounds me and within minutes it'll consume me once again.

Dick's POV

I'm sitting next to Bruce…no he's Batman right now and I'm Nightwing. Robin is trailing behind us on the R-Cycle. I can't keep still. My legs are trembling and my lip quivering. Jason…no Red Hood has gone too far this time. He's taken Tim…Red Robin from us. What does he want with him? Is it possible that he wants to kill him? No we won't let him. We'll get there on time. We are not losing another member of this family. Not again, not ever.

"How much longer?" I ask, losing my patience. I can't keep a straight face and I know Batman notices. Underneath his mask, I know he's filled with dread too. He's just better at hiding it than me. He's always been better at keeping things bottled up and stored away. He's like some freaking filing cabinet. And sometimes that just makes me mad, that he won't show it. It's infuriating, because I don't understand why he never expresses himself.

"Two minutes," Batman says in gruff voice. God how I hate that voice. I understand why he uses it but I don't get why he uses it with us his family when no one else is around. The cowl, really, is no excuse. This is his entire fault. Why did he have to let Tim go on patrol by himself? Didn't he know he wasn't ready yet? Now I'm just lying to myself. Bruce didn't know this would happen. Nobody could have known. Tim, like the rest of us, has received the same training and is now eighteen years old. He is perfectly capable of protecting himself but when it comes to Red Hood, something changes in him. He loses control, fear takes over, and he completely shuts down.

What Jason did to him completely scarred him. We were just lucky he left him alive just inches away from death. I know that if Jason really wanted to he would have killed him before. It wouldn't have been that hard, he's killed before. He's already programmed it into his mind, but sometimes he can be very impulsive. That's what scares me. What if this time, out of anger, he lashes out and doesn't stop. What if he takes Tim away from us for good? I don't think I could live with that. I don't think Bruce would let Jason live. He'd hunt him down like a wild animal and I'd have no choice but to stand and watch.

Right now I'm scared. I'm scared for Timmy. I'm scared for Jason, even. But overall, I'm scared for Bruce. What if this is it? What if this is the final confrontation? I've always tried to give Jason the benefit of the doubt but if it comes down to another fight will I be able to save him or worse yet stop him?

Bruce's POV

I see my first son have an inner panic attack beside me. Now is not the time for comfort. I have to save my third son from the hands of my second. Looking at the GPS tracker on Red Robin's belt my eyes open wide behind the cowl at where he is. Quickly I swerve the car to the left and into Crime Alley. "Out now!" I yell to Dick. We jump out of the car together. Robin quickly pulls over and does the same.

We stand next to each other prepared for anything.

"Jason!" I yell out in my most intimidating voice.

For a moment I hear nothing and I see Damian pulling out his pair of night vision goggles. Then from deeper in the alley I hear him respond, "Glad to see you could make it." His voice sounds different. It's not snarky or aggressive as usual. I can't quite decipher it yet.

"Where's Red Robin?" I hear Dick ask.

"Oh am I not good enough for you Dickie-Bird, I'm hurt," he says in his usual sarcastic voice but then it changes suddenly. "I've never been good enough for any of you right Bruce?" Before I or anyone else can reply, Jason adds, "He's right here." He gestures to the ground next to him. And right there in the shadows is Tim. Then Jason does something that really surprises all of us. He bends down and unties Tim. He immediately runs to our side without hesitation.

"What are you doing?" I find myself asking. Jason has always been unpredictable but this time it is just what it appears…unpredictable. He's never taken someone and then just freely handed them over.

Jason grunts and takes a step forward. Dick and Damian immediately take their stance which only causes Jason to force out a small laugh. It's unreal and sounds painful. "Don't worry," his voice is filled with sorrow, "I'm not going to hurt you."

Narrowing my eyes behind the cowl, I notice Jason's body is relaxed, resigned. He's not going to harm us. At least not yet. "Then what are you going to do?" I ask.

Jason does not answer in words; instead he raises his arms to his head and takes off his helmet, followed by ripping off his mask. And there they are. Two green blue eyes filled with tears.

"Jay what are you doing?" Dick asks, taking a step forward but Jason immediately steps back and grabs his gun.

I reach for a batarang and prepare to throw it. I see Damian and Tim do the same but we all come to halt when we see that the gun is not aimed at Dick but at Jason himself. He has it pointed at his temple.

"I'm doing what's right for once," he says directly at me. The first tear streaks down his cheek and I can't help but feel scared. This is not what I expected to arrive to. I expected a fight as usual. Not Jason apparently assaulting himself.

I see Dick try to step forward again but he stops when he sees Jason tighten his grip on the gun. "Jay," Dick pleads, "why are you doing this? Please put the gun down."

"I'm sorry," Jason says and for a moment I think I heard wrong. Jason never apologizes. "But I have to do this."

"Do what, Todd?" Damian speaks. "Kill yourself? Fine go ahead and do it. It'll save us a heck of a lot of trouble." I want to slap Damian but right now I have to focus on saving Jason.

"Damian," I speak calmly "Go home."

"What?" he asks bewildered.

"Now!" I yell and he gets the message. He turns on his heels and jumps on his R-Cycle. "Tim, go with him," I order and he doesn't need me to repeat it. He grabs the spare helmet and hops on behind Damian. They drive away.

Jason POV

I see the two youngest bats drive away and almost forget what I'm doing. Then it all comes back to me when Dick takes another step forward. "Jaybird," he starts, "please put the gun down. Why are you doing this?"

"Because it's the fucking right thing to do!" I yell at him and he's taken aback. "Think about Dick! I'm a freaking devil. What else comes back from the depths of hell to cause mayhem?" Because that is where I crawled out from. The fiery pits of Satan's home.

"Jason," I hear Bruce speak his voice full of concern, "you need help. Let us—"

"No!" I yell cutting him off. "This isn't about helping me. It's too late for me, I know that now."

"It's never too late," Dick offers and I can feel that he's holding back the urge to cry. "Come home Jay," his eyes are starting to get watery. And all I can do is shake my head.

I take a deep breath and decide it's time to speak my mind. It hurts like a dagger to the chest but it has to be said. "All I ever wanted was to impress you two," I admit my voice straining from the piled up guilt. "That's all I ever wanted." Tears start pouring down my face like never before. "But I failed you." I turn to face Bruce. "But you failed me too. And I won't repeat how because you already know it."

"Jason," Bruce finally takes a step forward. "You know why I couldn't do it. I'm sorry."

"No I'm sorry," I say weakly. "I'm sorry for expecting you to. I was never worth it." I don't see him but I know a pained expression just flashed his face. I hear something and look up to see Bruce has removed his cowl.

"Jay don't say that," Dick wants to run up and hug me I know but he won't not as long as I have the gun up to my head.

"What do you want me to say then?!" I yell looking at both of them. My eyes are getting blurry from the tears and frantic movement between the two of them. "Bruce!" I yell. "I forgave you for not saving me. But I will never forgive you for letting that murdering psychotic clown live." I turn to face Dick. His eyes are filled with sorrow but that does not compare with what I'm feeling right now. "Dick," I say accusingly. "I hated you. I hated you when I was Robin because I was never as good as you. And to have it thrown into my face every five minutes hurt more than getting shot."

I see Dick turn to face Bruce. He obviously had no idea that he compares his Robins to him. No one will ever be as good as the Golden Boy.

"Son," Bruce says and I feel my heart sink to my stomach. He's never called me that before.

"Jay, please stop," Dick begs his hands clasped together in front of him.

"Too late," I whisper and pull the trigger. It happens so fast but so slow at the same time. I close my eyes and hear the sound of the gun firing. The last thing I see is Bruce and Dick running for me but it's too late. From there I feel nothing.

Bruce's POV

I see Jason pull the trigger and the bullet enter his right temple and cleanly exit the right one.

"Oh God!" I hear Dick yell and instantly we are running to Jason's body.

Dick gets there before me and grabs Jason's falling body. His blood is pouring all over Dick's costume. I kneel down next to them and apply pressure to both sides of wound. My heart is racing and my body trembling. I will not lose him again. That mistake will not repeat itself.

"Dick!" I yell and he turns to look at him, tears falling down his face. "Get in the car and call Alfred. We're saving him."

**A/N So this is it. I don't know if I should continue this or not. If I do, Jason will of course live but if I don't then well his fate is left uncertain. So review if you want. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**A/N Ok so I decided to continue this story. Sorry for any grammatical errors. I don't have a beta. So the position is open for anyone who wants it. Pay…is well…I guess you get to see the chapter firsthand. So let's continue and don't forget that this is now officially or sort of a Dick/Jay story. If you don't like it, then don't read it. In my defense, though, it's my first so bear with me. **

"Master Bruce," Alfred comes out of the med room. Leslie is trailing behind him, slowly shaking her head. Something is wrong. Alfred is not looking me in the eyes. "I have awful news," he sighs. And I feel it the bomb has exploded in my chest. I've lost him again.

"He didn't make it," I say the words for him.

Alfred shakes his head and says, "I'm terribly sorry, we did all we could. The wound was just too profound. We managed to stich up the entrance and exit though."

I know Alfred is just trying to make me feel better but it isn't going to work. I will think of a solution. I lower my gaze and walk up to Leslie. She has done everything in her power and I at the least owe her my gratitude. "Thank you," I say quickly and then head for the stairs leading to the manor.

Halfway up the stairs, I hear Leslie prepare to leave and Alfred say to himself. "At least this time the boy went away painless." I can hear the sorrow in his voice because in a way he too lost a son…grandson. But he is wrong, Jason did not go away painless, he didn't suffer from any physical injury but the psychological ones were too much to bear that in the end he assumed it was his own fault and took his life. But it wasn't his fault, it was my fault. My failure, my mistake. And now it's time for me to fix it.

"Are you sure about this Mister Wayne?" Talia asks.

I pace back and forth, on the balcony of Al Ghul Castle. Stopping mid-step I come to a decision. "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

"I'll need the body," Talia opens her hand like as if it was some object that could just be handed over.

"I know," is all I manage to get out as I think of my son's once again deceased corpse. Taking a long overdue breath I say, "_He_ can't know about this." She smiles and appears to understand.

Taking a step closer, she says, "My father will never know." She lightly brushes the skin of my hand. It is the most compassion this woman can muster. It's understood since she did leave me with her only child but I know that in a way she thinks of Jason as her own too. "When do we start?" she asks with serious eyes.

"Tomorrow," I answer plainly.

Dick's POV

"We need to leave now," Bruce…no he's Batman right now says.

"Are you sure we should do this?" I ask putting on my Nightwing costume. I have to admit that when Bruce first told me of his plan I was shocked and downright disgusted. But then it hit me, it was another chance to fix what went wrong and Bruce was going to do this with or without my help. I don't know how this is going to turn out but all I know is that I need to be there for Jason not for Bruce…because I don't know how he'll react.

"Yes," is the only answer I get from him before he jumps into the batmobile and nearly takes off without me.

I jump into the passenger seat and wait for the inevitable. Tim and Damian have been left out of this. I have a hunch Tim knows and Damian well who knows if he knows. He's almost as unpredictable as Jason himself.

Dick's POV

It's happening. I'm already having second thoughts on this. Maybe we shouldn't do this but it's too late. Jason's body is already lowered into the Lazarus Pits. I wasn't here the first time it happened but I know that it won't have pretty results. From the corner of my eye, I can see Talia assessing the situation with an almost bat-like demeanor. It's scary really, she's scary. I am really hoping that she isn't gaining something out of this but knowing her, it's very possible that she is.

Bruce, who is at my side, has his eyes locked on the pit. They're green and releasing some sort of mist. It's all the elements of a ghost story really and the only thing missing is the ghost itself. But if we're lucky then that won't be a problem.

"Up, now!" I hear Talia nearly yell at her men and instantly they lift the body from the pits.

At first nothing happens but then I hear screams and Jason is up and running. He with inhuman speed topples two of Talia's men over and jumps for the walls. Instantly, I jump for him, yelling his name frantically. "Jason! Jason! JASON!"

He's too fast and is already climbing up the wall. I shoot my grappling hook and it latches just a few feet above him. I use it to my advantage and for a split second wonder where the hell Bruce is. That's when I see him already on top, by the exit. It's like he knew this was going to happen.

As my last futile attempt, I try to grab Jason's feet but something in him that's wild just kicks me in the head and I fall back to the ground. At the last second, I manage a flip and land square on my feet. I look up to see that Bruce with Jason in his arms. Jason is panicking. He's thrashing and leaves Bruce with no alternative than to knock him out. My eyes close at the sound of it and I can feel from where I am standing Bruce's soft and barely audible sobs.

Jason's POV

I awake with a major headache and a slight dizziness. My eyesight is blurry and I feel nauseous. I feel something soft around me. It's a blanket…a silk blanket I think. It's the softest thing I've ever felt. Wait, I shoot up into a sitting position. Where am I? I look around, taking in my surroundings. It's a room. I'm in a bed and there are posters all over the wall. They look familiar but I can't remember where I've seen them before.

People are talking right outside the shut door and my heart starts pumping at high speeds. I know this because I'm hooked onto a heart monitor and that's probably why they just came in.

"Jason!" one of them says. There are five in total, an elderly man, a middle aged man, a young man, a teenager, and a boy. He runs up to me and gives me a bear hug. It's the tightest thing I've ever felt and fuck it hurts. I don't respond to this hug.

He finally loosens his grip and looks me in the eyes. His are blue, the most beautiful blue I've ever seen. It's deep and profound. They're familiar but I don't know from where.

"Jason," the middle aged man comes up to me. His voice is full of sorrow mixed with happiness.

I gulp and say, "Who the hell is Jason?"

The elderly man gasps and drops a plate of food he was holding. The young man holding me lets go and takes a step off my bed. The two boys stay quiet, the younger seeming to be radiating anger.

The middle aged man takes another step towards me and I feel my blood starting to rush again. His eyes are blue too but they're ice cold. I don't want him near me. "Jason," he repeats and I still don't know who he is referring to.

"Where the fuck am I?!" I find myself yelling. I can feel the panic start to rise and I think they can see it too. Quickly, I look for an escape root and spot the door. It's close and maybe I can make it out.

The young man sits back on my bed and before he can speak, I punch him right on the jaw and jump out of the bed. Next thing I know, I'm running through the hallways. Damn this place is big. But they're following me and God they're fast. I see the staircase and aim to jump for it but before I can the middle aged man comes out of nowhere…and really it's nowhere because he wasn't there a second ago… and he has me pinned to the floor with me laying on my back.

I left out a groan of pain and he asks with concerned eyes, "What's wrong?"

Feeling on the verge of tears I answer, "I'm lost."

**A/N So there it is chapter two. I hope you guys liked it. ** **So for this story I'm really opened for ideas because in all sincerity I don't exactly have a plot planned out. So it could possible end in the next chapter or the next five chapters. If you guys want to see something in particular or have two or more characters interact in some way then review or PM me. Since we're on the topic anyways, please review now that I know some people are interested in this. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**A/N Hello everyone, here's a new chapter. It's all in Dick's perspective and takes place the day after the last chapter. Just a head's up but these chapters will jump from perspectives. I want to get into everyone's head and wanted to try something other than the third person omniscient. Some chapters will mix perspectives like the first two but some will not. So read and enjoy.**

Dick's POV

_I'm lost_ the words keep repeating themselves in my head. Jason, my little brother, can't remember a thing about his life. Bruce and Alfred came to the conclusion that it's because the bullet went straight through his head and really it had to leave some damage. Hopefully it's just not permanent. Right now he's in his room. Yesterday we managed to calm him down a little bit and explain some of things that happened. Basically, Damian came straight out and told him he had amnesia and that the imbeciles surrounding him, excluding him, were his family.

He tried to escape…I mean leave…this is not a prison…again. At least we know his amnesia didn't affect his fighting skills. He can still protect himself, I think to myself as I rub the purple bruise appearing on my jaw. Damn that hurt, but it was all worth it since we got Jason back. And this time I'm going to be the brother he never had.

Right now Bruce and Damian have gone off to patrol. Tim is God knows where…probably his room or the study. And Alfred, I think, is in the kitchen making dinner. It'll be our first as a complete family. I'm happy but I can't say the same for everyone else…especially Tim. He is the one who Jason is always constantly trying to kill for being his replacement…he claims. But in all reality Jason was a replacement too, he was my replacement. I still remember holding it against him too at first…I guess that's where he got that habit from. Damn I'm a bad brother. Still, though, that can be rectified.

Applying a small amount of makeup to my jaw, I decide it won't hurt if I go see Jason. Anxiously, I make my way to his room. I stop at the door and knock almost too hard. I hear a grunt and a shuffle. I conclude that he was in bed.

"What!" I hear from behind the door.

"Uh…Jason it's me, Dick," I find myself to be more nervous than I thought I would be. "Can I come in?"

"NO," he replies locking the door.

I roll my eyes. Surely he must know I can pick the lock. Oh that's right, I mentally slap myself, he can't remember. I leave for just a few seconds and come back to the door with a paperclip. I straighten it out and place it in the keyhole. Slowly I hear the gears shift and then the lock come open. Before Jason can react, I jump in the room. But he's not in front of me like I suspected he would be. I look around and see the blankets on his bed bundled around his body. His black hair is barely visible from the top. And then I hear a grunt of pain escape the sheets.

"Jay!" I'm at his side immediately. "What's wrong?" He grunts in response and pulls the covers tighter around him. I rip them off his face and then almost fall back. Jason's eyes are watery and bloodshot. He's sweating and heat is radiating off of him. I put the back of hand to his forehead and withdraw it immediately from the intensity of the heat. He's burning up. "Jay," I say worriedly, "you have a fever."

"You figure that all out by yourself," he says sarcastically and then sniffs.

Instead of answering, I run to the bathroom and open the medicine cabinet. I grab some fever reducers and then run to the kitchen.

"Master Dick," Alfred says, looking at me from where he's standing in front of the stove.

"Jason's sick!" I yell, my emotions leaking through my voice.

Alfred keeps a straight face and looks at my hand to see the medicine. I know he's already deduced the problem and fills a cup of refreshing water. "Shall we?" he gestures to the stairs.

I nod my head and run ahead of him bursting into the room once again. Jason is trying to get out of bed and I hastily push him back in. "No stay," it comes out as a command.

Alfred walks in the room with the cup of water and I hurriedly take it from him. Without thinking about it I shove two pills into Jason's mouth and force the water down his throat. He almost chokes but knowing Jason…memories or no memories he does not like medicine. He struggles in my grip and I find myself on top of him. We both freeze for a moment our eyes locked with one another. His, an emerald green. They're filled with something I've never seen in them before, fear. Fear of rejection, fear of being lost. He might not remember any memories but he still remembers his feelings.

I'm about to say something when Alfred clears his throat and says, "Master Dick would it not be most wise to get off the sick boy." It's not a question.

"Uh…yah," are the only words I can form. Jason's eyes, although sick, are so hypnotic. He's the only member of the family without blue eyes.

"I will make a soup," Alfred says and then leaves the room.

I sit down next to Jason and while staring I notice something different about him. I can't place my finger on it though. He crosses his arms and turns his head away but I know he can feel my eyes on him and it's only a matter of time before he breaks from the frustration.

"What?!" he yells, throwing his arms up in the air. I don't answer and that just makes him even madder. "What the fuck do you want?" he hisses.

I don't know why but for some reason I can't formulate words. For the first time in my life I'm speechless. I only stare and I think I'm making him self-conscious. He looks away downcast. He sighs and then throws the blankets off of himself.

"Fine," he speaks, "I'm leaving."

"What?" I say panic rising. "Where?" He's putting on some clothes and before he can, I grab his shoes…boots. He glares but it's not the same as it used to be. It's void and not filled with the hatred from before.

"I don't know," he admits, "And I don't fucking care. Anywhere is better than here."

He starts walking to the best of his ability away and I say, "Wait." It comes out filled with desperation.

"What?" He repeats not turning around.

I take a few steps closer to him and say, "You asked me what I wanted."

"Yah so?" his eyes roll.

"So," I hesitate and pause. Looking up and down I add, "I want you to stay Jay. Come home."

He sighs and says, "I can't. I don't know any of you and from what I've heard one of _your_ brothers say this was never my home." He's been listening, my heart drops. Damn Tim and Damian for not being able to keep their mouths shut. I swear to God, I will sew them shut if I have to if it means Jason will have some peace. But I'll think about that later.

"This has always been your home!" I blurt out. I aim to hug him but he backs away. That's when I notice. He's shorter than me but that's not possible. Jason has been taller than me for years now.

"Home?" he says thinking the word over. And I want to cry, I don't think he has truly ever felt at home anywhere. He looks like he's about to exit and I know that if I really want to I can stop him. He might still be able to fight, but he has three disadvantages: one he's sick, two he can't remember anything, and three I still consider myself to be a better than him.

"Please Jaybird," I decide to use his nickname. Maybe it'll spark some memories and for a second, just a second, I think it does. A rare twinkle of sincerity passes his eyes and he agrees.

"Ok," he says. He walks back to the bed and throws himself onto it…literally throws himself on it…legs and arms spread to all corners. In less than a minute he's asleep.

I decide to take advantage of this moment and go to Tim's room. Instead of knocking I just open the door and walk in. He's on his computer like always.

"You really should knock," he lectures me. Oh will he be receiving one too but before I can say anything he says, "I didn't say that."

"What?"

"I didn't say what you came in here to reproach me about." He stops his typing and turns around in his chair to face me.

"Then who said it?" I ask trying to remain calm. If it wasn't Tim, then it had to be Damian but I just need conformation before doing anything rash.

"Who do you think said it?"

"Damian, I knew it!"

"No," he says when I'm two steps away from the door.

"What?" I ask.

"It wasn't Damian either," Tim says, "it wasn't even any of us 'brothers'. It was Bruce." My heart stops but before I can say anything Tim adds, "Jason heard wrong. He must have still been on the side effects of the pits, which includes fever by the way, when he heard it. Bruce said and I quote, 'I never made a home for Jason here.' He said it as regret, not a statement." And now I understand.

"So why didn't you go on patrol?" I change the subject.

"No reason," he shrugs and turns back to his computer. I look at the time on his monitor and see that Bruce and Damian should be home any minute now.

"Get ready," I say, "tonight's our first family dinner." I say the second part gleefully.

It takes me thirty minutes to get Jason out of bed again. The first time he let me but I turned around for two seconds to let him get dressed and then when I turned back he was sleeping again in his pajamas. The nerve. So I did what anybody would do and woke him up again. He kicked and punched that time but I wasn't messing around. We are going to have a family dinner whether he likes it or not!

The real challenge came when it came to getting him dressed. Jason, the asshole, wanted to go down wearing that. So I had to force him into nice clothes that fit him too big. I have to remember to tell Bruce about his shrinking problem. But anyways, I did learn one thing; Jason does not like to be manhandled. Now I have the marks to prove it. Hopefully they go away soon; my body already has too many scars to just keep adding more.

"You ready Jaybird," I say. He's in the restroom doing God knows what.

He opens the door and dries his wet hands on my shirt. Asshole. "No," he says…or yells.

"Well too bad," I say, grabbing his arm and practically dragging him downstairs. I can't help but smile. It's going to be a dinner to remember.

"Drake," we come into Damian calling Tim's name. "Pass the freaking mash potatoes."

"They're right there!" Tim yells pointing to the spot next to Damian.

Damian looks over and sees that Tim is right. "I know," he scoffs. "I was just testing your visual skills, Drake."

Tim rolls his eyes but keeps quiet, Bruce is eyeing them down.

"Jason, Dick," Bruce says smiling. I can tell he's glad to see Jay here.

Jason glares and I pull him to sit next to me and Bruce near the front of the table. Tim and Damian sit next to each other on the other side and I wonder just how Bruce got them to sit next to each other in the first place. I doubt he's one to use blackmail…or maybe he is. After all he knows everything and is bound to use it to his advantage.

I see Bruce staring at Jason and I know he can see something is different about him other than the obvious memory loss thing.

"So," Damian starts talking to Jason with an evil smirk on his face. And oh shit this is about to go straight to hell, back, and then to hell all over again. "Todd…"

**A/N Well there it is. Tell me what you guys think. In other words, review. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**A/N So small warning there is a small guyxguy scene here. It's not much but I don't want anybody saying, "Why didn't you warn us?" This will probably be the only warning because from here on out you guys pretty much know to expect it occasionally. So read and enjoy.**

Dick's POV

It only took Damian five minutes to ruin dinner. At first he just brought up Jason's memory lost and no one seemed to mind that not even Jason who was being quiet, probably because of his fever. But then he started asking questions…the wrong questions. That's when it all went to hell. Of course, the first thing out of Damian's mouth was if he could recall his time as a street child, then as Robin. By then Tim had already intervened but Damian wouldn't shut up, he just kept on asking. He pushed Tim off of him and asked THE question, if he could remember his death. Bruce's eyes had shot wide open at that one and he immediately ordered Damian to leave the room. Tim had to drag Damian out but that didn't stop him from mentioning the Joker. I tried to cover Jason's ears at that point but he just shrugged me off. He looked confused but overall Damian's words sparked something else in him, anger.

I know he couldn't pinpoint his anger but that didn't stop him from lashing out at us for keeping this from him and then running into his room. Because no matter what we do or say Jason will always be angry, there's no changing that. He doesn't need his memories to remember the pain he went through, it's still there and will always be there. No amount of amnesia can change that. It might relieve him of the memory itself but not the pain. There is pain that not even a bullet to the brain can end. We can never make him truly forget but I'm hoping…really hoping…that our love can at least ease the burden.

So now I'm running up to his room, mentally preparing myself for the apology speech I'm going to give him on behalf of all of us.

Bruce's POV

I see Dick run off after Jason and can't help but feel this is my entire fault. I lower my head and pinch the bridge of my nose. Well I'm going to have to have a talk with Damian that's for sure. Maybe one with Tim too, he also said some nasty things to Damian that should have been kept aside.

I hear someone clear their throat beside me and instantly know it is Alfred. Nothing ever gets by him. He's just as stealthy, if not more, than me.

"Yes Alfred," I say turning around to face the man who is like a father to me. His eyes are calm as they have always been but I know he's worried too. We don't know if Jason will ever regain his memory and frankly I am kind of hoping he doesn't. There are things that I just don't want him to remember and truth be told it's because I fear losing him again.

"Master Bruce if I may say," Alfred starts, "I think you should call Talia." What? I can't hide the shock from my face. Why would he want me to call Talia? To give her my gratitude, because if that's it then no way. Talia and I have a mutual relation. We do favors for each other every now and then but only because we know the other can return them. And never has there been gratitude exchanged in between them.

"Why?" I ask, plainly.

"Master Bruce I doubt you, the world's greatest detective, did not notice something was wrong with Master Jason."

Hmm, I think. There was something different about him but I can't put my finger on it. Alfred seems to catch up and says, "The height difference. I distinctly remember Master Jason being taller than Master Richard." Bingo, that's it. Why did I not notice it right away?

"You think it has something to do with the Lazarus Pits?" I ask.

"Yes. We both know that those pits can be very unpredictable. There is very little known about them. Just what Ra's has allowed to learnt."

"I call Talia tomorrow."

Alfred nods and walks away.

Jason's POV

I cover my ears and yell, "Leave me the fuck alone!"

"Please Jason let me in," Dick says pounding on the door. I locked it. "You know I can open it if you don't."

Knowing that he's going to come in anyways I get up off the bed and walk towards the door. I open it fully, to Dick who freezes in mid-knock and yell, "What?!"

Instead of an answer, Dick jumps and latches himself on me. "I'm so sorry," he mutters into my ear.

Feeling dumbstruck, I tense up but the idiot makes no attempt to loosen his grip on me. Gathering all my strength, I push him off me but the recoil proves to be too much and I stumble backwards landing on my back on the bed. And of course he immediately jumps for me but instead of helping he lands on top of me, causing to grunt.

"Sorry," he says, smiling like the idiot he is.

I open my mouth to say something but am instead cut off by his eyes staring into mine. And again the same thought comes into my mind; he has the most beautiful eyes in the world. They bring me a sense of protection that I haven't really gotten since my stay here. It's overwhelming and downright scary.

He ends up with his hands in my face, pushing the bangs away from my forehead. "You're so beautiful Jaybird," he says. "Has anybody ever told you that?"

I don't know why but I smile and say, "I don't remember." I don't say it to reprimand him but more as a sign of affection and he seems to get the picture. I open my mouth to speak again but am cut off by his lips crashing into mine. And it's not a kiss; it's a full blown make out. The bastard was waiting for the right moment. Oh and now he wants dominance over the kiss but I'll cut him, literally cut him, before he gets it.

The kiss abruptly ends when we hear the door open and a shriek. We part immediately and look to see who interrupted us.

Tim's POV

From my room, I can hear Dick frantically knocking on Jason's door. He's yelling and it's getting on my nerves. Then all of the sudden the knocking stops and I hear Jason yell, "What?!"

I hear more noise followed by a thump. What happened? I don't know, but the fall sounded hard. Mentally, I make a list of the reasons as to why I should go check up on them and the reasons as to why I shouldn't. The pros overcome the cons and I decide to go.

Instead of knocking, I decide to just open the door. I mean what's the worst that can happen, right?

And oh God, I walk into Dick kissing Jason. I shriek making myself known. They both instantly stop separating from one another, and turn to look at me.

At lost for words, I mumble out, "I…uh…I…sorry." Just as quickly, I take off running to my room and of course I hear Dick call my name out and know he's trailing behind me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Jason's POV

I feel my lips as I watch Dick, my supposed brother, run after Tim, I think his name is. And I know it's unreasonable, but I can't help but feel a sting of jealousy. Was I always like this? No I couldn't have been.

Feeling my fever rise again, I decide to get up and go get a glass of water. It should at least alleviate some of the heat. I crawl out of bed, starting to feel nauseous and find that I'm having trouble standing. I trip and land on the floor with a grunt. That hurt more than it should. Grabbing the edge of my bed I lift myself up to where I'm sure I steady myself. But I'm wrong. I only manage to make it to the door before I'm on the floor again.

This time I let out a small yell of pain. Which is weird because falling shouldn't hurt this much. My skin for some reason is really sensitive. It's starting to burn up and now I can't get up. I crawl into the hallway hoping that someone will see me. Nobody does. But I can hear them even though I can't see them either. I hear the man named Bruce talking over the phone, and I swear I can the lady on the other side. But now the halls are spinning and my stomach churning. I turn to lie on my back to take the pressure off but it only makes me all the more dizzy. Now I can hear Dick talking to Tim trying to explain to him everything he saw. Dick says it's love or something sappy like that and Tim says he's taking advantage of my memory lost.

And fuck now my head is pounding and what little I do remember is being swallowed up by the darkness of empty thoughts. My body starts to shake compulsively and I think I see someone run up to me from the corner of my eye. Feeling dead already, I close my eyes and wait for the moment of truth.

Damian's POV

Peeking out of my door, I see Grayson chase Drake down the hallway. Typically immature, only those two can act so childish. About to close my door, I hear something, better yet, someone fall and a yelp of pain quickly following. I walk out of my room and turn to see down the hallways. And what the hell, Jason is on the floor trembling and sweating like an animal in pain.

Quickly I drop to the floor and say, "Todd?" He doesn't answer. "Todd?" I repeat. Still no answer just more feverous shaking. "Todd!" I yell. "You will answer when spoken to!" Nothing.

Feeling my panic growing, I place my hand against his forehead and quickly retract it. Damn it felt like a fucking iron. His eyes shoot wide open and for a moment stare at everything around him, including me. I have never been so scared in my life so when they roll back before his lids close I yell, "Jason!" Next thing I know, I'm wrapping my arms around his shoulders and shaking him, trying to get him to wake up. "Jason! Jason! Get up!" I muffle a sob. "Please," I say softly. Turning around frantically I see the rest of my family arrive.

Bruce's POV

Hearing Damian yell, at first I ignore it. He tends to throw fits often especially when it comes to Tim. But it's not Tim this time. And the only reason I hung up on Talia is because I heard Damian yell out Jason's name, first name. Damian never uses first names, especially Jason's. He's too…Damian to do that. So the next thing I find myself doing is jumping over furniture and practically flying up the stairs.

Dick, Tim, and Alfred are already there huddling around Damian who is holding something….no someone…in his hands.

Alfred looks just as serious as ever. His guise never fails him. Dick is the first to notice I have arrived and remorsefully or at least sheepishly walks up to me, blocking my view of the situation.

He puts one hand on my shoulder and hesitantly says, "Umm…what," he pushes the bangs off of his eyes and scratches the back of his neck, "what were the side effects of the pits again?"

I eye him curiously and ask, "Why?"

He steps aside, points, and says, "Because of that."

Straight ahead of me are standing three boys. Tim, Damian, and what looks to be a five year old confused, and teary Jason wearing oversized clothes and holding on to each of their hands. Oh shit. Better call Talia back.

**A/N So it's a little late and sort of short but it'll have to do. It should get very interesting from here. Who doesn't love a kid Jason? I'm sure he'll have plenty of adventures with his brothers before he grows again and continues his newly found relationship with Dick. I plan on covering some of the holidays like Halloween and Christmas before making him an adult again. Sorry if your religion or beliefs clash with mines but it's just a story and they're just holidays. Thank you all for reading and reviewing and please keep them coming. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**A/N Ok so I know this chapter is late, but I didn't really have a plot or time but now we are in summer vacation. However, some things will be changing, the biggest being the tense of the story, it's no longer present tense but past tense. Also I don't appreciate flames but if you want to say something go ahead and say it, I won't stop you. And finally, the story will probably only be told in Dick's point of view from this point on. Anyways enjoy. (This is just a section that sets up what's to come)**

I didn't know what to do anymore. I felt lost. My brother had just been turned into little more than a toddler and the only person who could possibly help us was an egotistic bitch. Aside from that, though, there was also the pending relationship we had to come to terms with. And yet we couldn't do that until he was back to his full age again and even then there was the problem with his memories. I'd never really know how he felt if couldn't remember who he was. Maybe to him this relationship was just some sort of protection, a way to latch onto somebody that couldn't refuse him. He had already been through so much, the pain must have built up to the point where he just wanted to forget, forget it all, all of us, including me. But here he was, a mere child, and forevermore miserable even if he didn't know it yet.

Tim and Damian had been sent away for a while; they didn't need to see Talia. She had already hurt them both drastically…well her to her son and her father to Tim. But so long as I was alive, none of that would be happening again.

I waited by the door to Bruce's office to find out the news. Jason was with them. Apparently, Bruce had told Talia everything over the phone line. If luck was with us, she had brought something that would reverse the aging process. Owing her any favors, though, never bode well with me. She would come back to charge it, I knew it and furthermore Bruce knew it. By then, however, I would be gone and Jason too. It was time for a fresh start for both of us. He deserved it more than me, it just so happened that I would be accompanying him.

I don't know how much time passed by but I awoke from my half-conscious state to Talia's voice. She and Bruce were walking out of the office. "Listen beloved, this is not a common effect of the pits but it's not rare either. The shot I gave him will reverse the process and he'll be back to his full age in a matter of days…but as for his memories I don't know. The most likely result is that they'll never return."

"Are you sure about that?" Bruce asked skeptically.

Talia was carrying, no cradling, Jason in her arms. He was a small child. "It's the most probable outcome. But look on the bright side; he won't ever have to remember everything your war put him through. It's a blessing in disguise, if you ask me."

Bruce cringed at her comment. "Thank you Talia," he bit his tongue, I could tell, "you may leave now."

"Anytime beloved," she kissed his cheek. "Anytime." She handed Bruce Jason and then turned to me. "How you've grown Richard. Pity." She left.

"So what now?" I asked Bruce.

"We wait," he said handing me Jason. "There's nothing we can do."

There's nothing you can do, I didn't say, but there's something I can. Looking at the child in my arms, big green emerald eyes glistening of innocence and hidden fear, I knew what I had to do. It was the only thing that could be done. We had to run, run away, from all of this and try something normal for a change. There would be problems and Bruce would surely give chase, but I've always been the most agile. He wouldn't find us and even if he did, we'd no longer be the same.


End file.
